There are people I know who are in constant conflict. We aren’t talking about warriors; we are talking about regular people who, from one day to the next, always seem to be involved in one event or another in which they feel like they must choose a side and fight. Every day, every shift, they are irresistibly drawn to drama.
Even if it isn’t incredibly stressful at first, after a while, it is. It’s like a constant stream of water wearing away at you until eventually you realize the rift it has created is now a canyon. We have to be selective about our battles. Constant battle also gives others the impression that you are a belligerent. Others may only choose to approach you in a defensive posture. If you wonder why you are always in conflict, this could be the issue itself. Constant combat numbs you to battles that really do require a fight.
Conflict occurs when values and perspectives contradict. Conflict is inevitable. Conflict is often necessary. Conflict motivates us to participate and to be productive, but conflict is a problem if we can’t manage it. It is said that people who are obstructed are out of balance. The consistent imbalance is bad energy and it only produces more bad energy.
Good leaders must maintain balance; the only way to achieve that balance is to be open to more ideas, even the ones you disagree with. While I’m not saying you have to embrace them, you should still understand their perspective, as it will help you to understand your own perspective that much better. And while you may think you are right now, perhaps you can see where the other person has issues with your argument, or may even see that you don’t have all the facts. No sensible argument should be built upon a fallacy.
Also on Firehouse Zen …
- Know Your Enemy – February 9, 2012
- Circle of Personal Transformation – March 18, 2013
- Zen Zone #37 – December 10, 2011
- A Waste Of Time – January 28, 2012
