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You Can Quote Me On That (Before 2010)

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I was driving down the road the other day and thinking, you know, I too could have a list of quotes, just like the real writers have. So in the interest of filling up a page of useless knowledge, I went back to FHZ from September of 2008 to December of 2009 and I also threw in a few notable statements I made way back on the old Firehouse Forums as a member of the IACOJ, before some of you were born, I think. 

Now, I do read a lot and listen to podcasts, etc. and I will check my quotes with a deep internet search to make sure I haven't stolen someone else's ideas, but I'm pretty sure I said this stuff at one time or another.  I also left off anything I paraphrased (I hope) and added some stuff that exists in unpublished posts (there are a few dozen of those).  Believe it or not, we here at FHZ have standards.  They are low, but we do have standards.  

So here you are, from the beginning of FHZ, some of the more memorable ones:

  • "When I give you an order, I want to see it done, or your dead body where you died trying to do it."
  • "Never eat more than your mask can hold."
  • "I am not your friend, I am your boss. If you want to be friends, that's okay, but that doesn't change the fact that I am your boss first."
  • "The company officer is the designated adult supervision in the station. Act like it."
  • "There won't be a group hug at the end of this. I don't do Kumbaya."
  • "When I call for a resource I'm gonna give you type and kind. If I call for a Lincoln-ful of Panamanians, I don't care where you got it, just give me the closest one."
  • "Let's put this in terms you can understand: Confined space rescue is nothing more than HAZMAT on a rope."
  • "Being a truckie requires resourcefulness. You are presented with a problem no one else knows how to fix and you fix it with what you brought to the party or what you can swipe. After that, it's all magic."
  • "Individuals have given themselves the freedom to make poor decisions, then be let off the hook because we 'shouldn't judge them', or because their mommy didn't hug them as a child, or whatever the victim story is this week." (Okay, I just used that one again the other day).
  • "The base cause of indignity is usually the result of inconsiderate behavior." (Oh, and that one is new. But I liked it).
  • "Conflict in life is inevitable. Conflict escalation and intractability is not." (Alright, that one is new as well.  Back to the old stuff).
  • "There's enough ugly going on around us right now without our own people bringing it down on us."
  • "Each of us should be serving as a positive example of how to do the job, volunteer or career, and without acting like a bunch of amateurs and whackers."
  • "The important part in our lives, really, isn't necessarily what we can fill up our minds with at every moment, but about creating space to let more in."
  • "There are a few things that you should raise the stakes for, like your faith, your family, and your country.  But when faced with an unwinnable scenario and a profound lack of resources, sometimes it is best to save what you can save and live to fight on another day."
  • "Where t = tempo, r = resources and f = frustration: increasing t multiplied by decreasing r = exponential increase in f."
  • "The taxpayers in your community ultimately decide what level of service they want.  If they are insistent that giving you no resources is okay, then they have to be educated to what extent that investment will reap disaster.  Risk is proportionate to return."
  • "There are other sides to every argument that get squashed by the rush of the ADD crowd to comment.  Don't fall into the trap of the unenlightened.  Think before you post."
  • "I can think of no rational society that thinks it is okay to screw the disadvantaged for the benefit of the privileged.  Taking advantage of the less fortunate is simply bullying."
  • "When we use the phrase 'customer service", if that's not appealing to you, try saying it like this: 'doing what is right for our neighbors and the people who visit and work in our community'.  That should be a little more pleasant."
  • "Successful coaches match schemes to personnel, not vice-versa."
  • "If you are going to successfully implement change in your organizational culture, there should be a reluctance to be where you were and a desire to get where you are going."
  • "I'm pretty sure that when my ticket , I'm not going to be quoted saying something profound, poetic, or heroic.  It is likely going to be something that can't be repeated around children or the faint-hearted."
  • "If we really want our industry to recognized as professional, it requires consistent conduct that is professional."
  • 'Legitimate power, in the sense of leading others, is limited to the amount of leverage the followers will permit."
  • "Tansformative leadership requires commitment, honesty to self, and an understanding of the world.  It's yours if you can embrace change, open yourself up to it, and set the example to others."
  • "Our business is too dangerous to leave the teaching to amateurs."
  • "Perhaps if you guys are going to fight fire like you are in the '70's, you should be paid like we were then too."
  • "If as a team, you can't agree on the destination, someone needs to get out of the car. Ultimately, getting to the destination requires assessment, negotiation, understanding, cooperation, and ends with commitment."
  • "More often than I care to, my 'command presence' comes out at inopportune times, like when I am talking to my wife (she doesn't like it), my kids (they're not crazy about it either), or my colleagues (they probably think I'm insufferable anyway)."
  • "If you fail to illustrate a clear picture of who is in charge, someone else will come in and fill that drawing in for you."
  • "Sometimes the best we can do is to pin it down to the neighborhood of origin, if that's what was burning when we got there."

Since at some point perhaps I'll add another page of these for the next years, if one of the sentences I uttered strikes a chord with you, point it out to me and I'll add it.  I'm all about customer service.  Until next time, thanks for reading.

The Antidote To Road Rage

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Being a reader of FHZ requires you to maintain an open mind.  Even if you don't agree with both sides of the issues here, understanding the contrary view permits perspective and in some cases, deeper understanding of the root causes of things we consider trouble.  For an example, consider the recent road rage incident that seems to have piqued a considerable amount of interest.  While I in no way sanction what was done, nor think it was a mature or acceptable way to handle the situation, realize that in many cases, feelings of frustration manifest themselves in angry, retaliatory behavior.

Who among us has not experienced anger at the inconsiderate moron who fails to pull to the right when we are well behind them, permitting us a free lane on the way to some emergency?  Even in your personal automobile, how about the idiot who not only signals they are going to take a right turn, but then shoots across to two lanes of traffic to make a left?  Like he couldn't just make the wrong turn, make a u-turn, and make things right?

Individuals have given themselves the freedom to make poor decisions, then be let off the hook because we shouldn't "judge" them, or because their mommy didn't hug them as a child, or whatever victim story they happen to choose this week.  The reality is that while reacting negatively to those who act in error is not acceptable, neither is the act that sparked the reaction in the first place.  Perhaps if our nation's law enforcement would start hauling off people who run red lights; who make erratic and unanticipated turns without use of a signal; those who drive too slowly in the passing lane, who fly down the shoulder to cut to the head of a merging line, or those who fail to pull to the right when an emergency vehicle is asking for the right of way, perhaps you might see a considerable decrease in road rage.

The base cause of indignity is usually the result of inconsiderate behavior.  Someone flaunts the rules and disregards the normal values of society, and the enraged individual is angry at the injustice of the situation.  I would be willing to bet that if anyone could write a ticket (not that I am an advocate of that), you'd see a lot less road rage.

Why?  Because if there were a non-violent method of resolving the conflict, I would be willing to bet that people would take that option.  The problem is that there is no resolution.  The enraged individual feels as if there is no way the situation will be resolved, they feel the injustice of the situation, and they act out in frustration, sometimes regardless of the consequences.

Now let's take this a step further.  Think of a non-driving situation in which you were pushed to the edge…Was this reaction a result of powerlessness, of frustration evolved from conflict in which you were victimized and felt no method to resolve your issue?  Perhaps it was an automatron manning the phone at your credit card company, or the cashier at Wally World, or the cable guy who doesn't show up when he says he will.  You percieve a lack of power to change the situation and that lack of control becomes overwhelming.  Over time, you may even be willing to act on it, in such a possibility, even inappropriately.

So what is the solution for our version of road rage?  Education?  Humorous attempts to enlighten the inconsiderate sometimes work, as in this fine example from the Tuscaloosa Fire Department. Other attempts like this one from Eugene, Oregon and this one from an agency I can't read on their final slide aren't as memorable (IMHO) but still get the message across.

But the more in-depth solution would be for individuals to maintain less distrations in their vehicles (phones, texting, and radios come to mind), and more overall awareness (simply paying attention to the fact that you SHARE the road with others).  And likewise, the way for you to avoid conflict that cascades into an intractable situation would be to step back for a second and understand the other person's perspective, and recognize that your escalation of the incident, although it may very well be warranted, is pushing you and the other party toward a battle that someone is going to lose. 

Conflict in life is inevitable.  Conflict escalation and intractability is not.  Be one of the first on your block to be the voice of sanity and work to understand, not to react.

A Belated Father’s Day Tribute

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I probably could have posted this on Father's Day, but after the events I experienced this week, it's really good to see it in context.  I continue to believe that being a father is a very difficult situation to be in sometimes.  The other day, after being challenged by my daughter Caroline’s afternoon (and evening) at the ER, I was dealing with that and put the other two out on the deck to play.  We have a large kiddie pool, since I don’t have the time, money, or patience to deal with a real pool.  At one point, I noticed my oldest daughter Emma walking around with one of two Blackberry phones that were on our kitchen counter.  These were phones previously used by my wife's company, and she wanted me to extract the data from them, especially pictures she had on one of them.  Seeing this, I told Emma that they weren’t toys and to put them back, but being a little distracted dealing with Caroline, didn’t follow up on things.

Later that evening, while tucking the girls into bed, my wife found the second of the two Blackberries in my youngest daughter Honora’s bed.  The screen was waterlogged and upon opening the battery door, it was full of water.  In short order we found the other Blackberry similarly waterlogged.  The good news is that the children are still alive.  Hopefully we are not out $750 worth of phones and a whole bunch of important work pictures.  The phones will be sitting in rice for a few days and the culprits sitting in room restriction for a few days as well.

All children get into mischief and I weigh the situation against the likelihood that it wasn’t intentional and maybe someday soon we will laugh about it.  But the issue is that a certain amount of discipline must be leveraged to provide an effective and memorable lesson.  The discipline must be appropriate for the situation, and of course, past infractions have to be counted.  They haven’t been very cooperative lately, so this really upped the ante.  And while a spank on the rear might handle a quick tantrum or something like that, punishment for an event like this must deliver a life message and spanking won't cut it.  So room restriction it is, and while they are there, we want the rooms spotless. 

But as a parent, in this case, the effort is difficult.  My wife is going out of town for the weekend and I had some fun things I wanted to do with the girls.  I could easily change the discipline but what message would that send?  I want badly to go into their rooms and hug them and tell them that there’s a good chance I can resurrect the data, but after having specifically telling them the phones were off-limits, they disobeyed the order and everything ISN’T just okay.  Smiling and making nicey-nice is not going to help things any, except in the immediate moment.  Failing to listen to an order must bear repercussions.

People often remark about how good our children are and we take a lot of pride in that.  But they see the result of lots of second-guessing, mistakes and heartbreak, because that’s what being a parent is like if you are doing your job.  You struggle between doing what’s best to positively reinforce good behavior and what’s best to discourage bad behavior.  And bad behavior, regardless of fun plans and the desire to kiss and make up, must have consequences.  To not have consequences invites repeated poor performance.

Honestly, I have it easier than some people have it, because my kids are pretty good.  But it’s a continual cycle; they are good, and they make it easier to provide positive experiences.  When they are bad, we struggle with wanting to continue to be affectionate and supportive, even though we know that to act like everything is okay would not send the right message.

Caring leaders endure the same exact experiences.  If you choose, re-read what I just wrote and insert “leader” in the context every time you see “dad”.  As a command officer, I make decisions that on occasion, must be followed regardless of what those who are recieving end want to do, or feel like doing.  They may even want to question my decision.  In this case, there must be repercussions to disobeying a direct order.

Making discipline mean something is required to elevate the attention level of the subject.  Some people can be reached with something as simple as a look.  Some require the equivalent of a 2×4 across the head.  And enforcing discipline hurts for us sometimes as well because those decisions are based on experience and understanding of a particular situation, but those decisions are contrary to the desires of the "children".  Sometimes, despite insisting that what we say is right, our children disobey us, and discipline is invoked, in order to reinforce a message. Likewise with our subordinates.

I try to support positive behavior through positive reinforcement.  And when I have to administer discipline, I struggle with doing so, because, as a good leader, I probably care more than I should.  But I also know that I am fortunate to have good people who, given the chance, will make good decisions, and I like to think that is a continual cycle.

Consider this when you lead.  You are responsible for the welfare of the people who you supervise.  If you are the designated leader, you have to be proactive, and provide opportunities for success.  But when things don’t go right, it is not time to be everyone’s best friend.  It is time to do what is right and that involves, more often than not, making hard decisions that benefit all involved.  As I say often to my children, "I am not your friend, I am your father.  If we get along we can be friends, but I am your father first."  Feel free to insert "boss" in lieu of "father" in that statement as well.

My children will survive this event and live to tell about it, as will we.  But hopefully we will now have further understanding as to what is expected and the consequences of failure.  And in the same respect, when you have that moment with your charges, they should too.

How Can You Know What Is “Better”?

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One of the best parts about my job is the view.  On "A" shift mornings, I leave my home and drive to Hilton Head Island Fire & Rescue's Station 7 where the Line Battalion Chief's office is located.  Since I live near the beach, I actually head to work opposite the commuter traffic, but at that time, traffic is still pretty light.  My route takes me over the Cross Island Bridge traversing Broad Creek, a long, wide tidal creek and pristine salt marsh that comes within a 100 yards of splitting the Island in two.

At a little after 0600 most of the year, the sun is coming up in the East over Broad Creek at the exact same time as I cross the bridge.  The result is a collection of some of the most spectacular sunrises I have ever seen.  Almost every morning, the view is a little different in the sky, but with the lighting of the tidal marsh on that angle, as well as a marina and some other landmarks, it is a glorious sight.

One morning as I crossed the bridge, a car was stopped on the bike lane, the driver taking a picture.  While this is pretty common, I remember the sunrise wasn't the most spectactular I had seen in a while and I thought, "Wow.  He thinks that's a great sunrise and it's probably one of the least amazing of the year."

But in thinking about that idea, it occurred to me that while I got to see this great sunrise almost every morning, I knew that this wasn't a "keeper".  For this poor guy it was one of the highlights of his trip, but because he might have been from somewhere that doesn't have these kinds of views, or for any number of reasons, he didn't know what he was missing.

Your own organization can be much the same way.  You could be "the best". Your department could be a shining example of excellence in your area.  But really, how do you know if you are doing anything significant, or innovative, or even RIGHT if you don't benchmark against other comparable organizations?  

But similarly, what if you are choosing the wrong benchmarks?  There are more than a few methods to measure your organization that can give you the snapshot you need for continual improvement.  And there are those who provide no meaningful yardstick to measure against, especially since some of them have been used to prop up organizations who can meet their "standards" yet fail to achieve even the slightest dent in what is considered a modern emergency service organization.

When someone inquires about accreditation and wonders what an organization can possibly gain from such recognition, in many cases, it is not necessarily the acknowledgement of having met those standards, but the effort the people of the organization make in getting there.  Members of an accredited organization that participate in the process find that they understand the strengths as well as the weaknesses of their organization much better than those who do not.  The knowledge aquired about the organization isn't the most important benefit, though.  More important is the process of examining the facets of running the department and understanding how each part is integral to the workings of the whole.

The challenge of seeking the perfect sunrise requires research to know when and where to find it.  A little experimentation is necessary to see that sunrise from different vantage points and to understand the desired qualities.  Some luck helps in that sometimes the solutions fall right into our laps and we just happen to be in the right place at the right time.  But ultimately, we can't just look at one sunrise and say, "That's the best one", unless of course, it's the only one you ever see.

Stretch a little.  Go out and see what you can see.  Ask questions and open your mind.  Learn and understand the nature of quality and how it presents itself in the efforts you make.  And when you have seen more, you can see that your way might not be the only way, and likewise, someone else might see what you see and they might be enlightened as well. 

 

Scary Rhetoric and Hypocrisy

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I can't imagine that there are much louder events than the crashing noise a meteor makes when it is hitting a planetary object.  To look at a crater made by a meteoric impact leads me to assume it is a horrible train wreck of an event.  So when the high and mighty go to ground, the noise seems to be equally stunning, especially if you believe in the individual beforehand.

People love to hate hypocrites. When a person or a group allows their reputation to be portrayed as one of honor and good, and then that trust is betrayed, then their actions can be seen as patently hypocritical.  Those are the people who do things like run on a platform of family values, only to be shacking up in South America on taxpayer funds.  Or doggedly pursuing impeachment of a President for being adulterous while engaging in their own adulterous affair. Or the religious who rail about the wrongs of homosexuality, only to be having a few of those relationships on their own.  One of my least favorite college football coaches, who has led under the premise of being forthright and wholesome after his claims that he knew nothing; Well, maybe he knew a little more than nothing.  And of course, there is this Weiner saga that continues to keep playing.  

Since the firefighter is held to be an example of virtue, bravery, and service in the name of the community good, when one of us fails, we can expect it to get serious play.  And in this day and age where so many people are looking for heroes, when we get it wrong, we get it wrong in a big way.  The backlash continues to flow as it seems like from one day to the next, one or more of our own pulls a new rabbit out of the hat and ends up with their mug shot splashed across the front page.

I also like to read the comments in the stories as Statter and Firegeezer where a number of our brethren sanctimoniously proclaim the fallen as garbage and a disgrace to the uniform.  But really, here's where it really gets ugly.  Check out the comments on this article from the Las Vegas Sun.  You can also check out the whole story there as well, but one look at the comments and you can see that the idea of the public singing our praises as "heroes" has been replaced by angry, bitter tirades against what we do not only while not running alarms, but even while providing our service.  And I don't even know what it is that these guys may or may not have done to draw this kind of fire.  I don't know that they did anything wrong or they have just found themselves poorly positioned in the center of a taxpayer backlash against spending.

Just yesterday, my own organization happened to be fighting a decent sized brush fire in a residential area.  With all of the coverage of the devastation in the Arizona wildfires you'd think citizens would be praising a fast, aggressive response; instead, at least one TV news report (not the one cited) pointed out the "inconvenience" of residents not being allowed to their homes until the fire was declared under control, and I corresponded and talked with a few people with very similar complaints.  Fortunately, all of my interactions were positive and once explained, the individuals were at least a little more grateful.  But what we have always taken for granted (that the citizens see us as positive, upstanding members of the community), has been replaced in many jurisdictions as our being selfish, lazy, and out-of-control.

There's enough ugly to go around right now without our own people bringing it down upon us.  It is up to each and every one of us to weed out those who continue to give emergency service a bad name with their negative attitudes, their arrogant behavior, and their me-first mentalities.  The good name and the "hero" portrait of emergency service, like it or not, came about because we put it on the line for our neighbors, we genuinely cared about our community and serving others, and because we were always seen as hard-working, blue collar people.  When a firefighter said something, they shot straight, but it was said with concern and compassion.  We have always been about getting the job done, no matter what, no matter how dirty or dangerous, but without bitching or complaining or pointing out each others' faults.  This is not how we work today.

Let the politicians, TV preachers, Wall Street CEOs and the other scumbags be the hypocrites and punching bags.  Each of us should be serving as a positive example of how to do this job, volunteer or career, and without acting like a bunch or amateurs and whackers.  Man up (that includes our sister firefighters as well) and do the job, and while you need to educate the public in what we do and how they interact with us to provide a team approach, don't call attention to yourself for doing it.  Just do the right thing and we'll all be fine.

It’s Been Busy

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If you were wondering where I have been for almost a month, the title sums it up.  I have sat down for a few minutes a few times but something distracting kept coming up.  Priorities being what they are, unfortunately, this blog is fairly inconsequential in comparison to the other issues.  But don't think that I wasn't thinking about it, often.

I'm trying to get re-organized and to get my feet going in the direction they are supposed to be pointed.  But even my attempts to do that seem a little clumsy.  But I did take the time over the last month to add some "me" time in and that seems to be working out, for at least a little bit of the day.

Today I went with the family to the beach. We have a guest staying with us for a week and when my wife asked me what I wanted to do today, I said that is what I wanted to do.  You do have to understand, however, while we live within a very short walk from the beach and go there pretty much every weekend, it is not my normal choice.  See, the whole thing about going to the beach means the herding of three young girls is involved, and getting them in swimsuits and slathered with sunscreen is about as easy as fishing with a volleyball net.  Then there's the packing of the stuff, of which there is lots.  And of course, we have to put on sunscreen as well, which I won't mince words about: I hate sunscreen.  But as you can tell, I met with mild disbelief when I said it's what I wanted to do.

So while getting to the beach is almost a total inconvenience, being there is different.  My wife likes to relax and tan, read a magazine, and try to sleep (I doubt she ever gets a chance).  The girls have to categorize all the marine life, socialize with the tourist kids, build at least three big holes, eat (and for Honora, that is full-time), and beg me to do stuff I really don't want to do, but am reluctantly willing to do most of the time.  I like to keep moving and the thing my brother-in-law got me hooked on is hunting for shark teeth.

And thus the lesson in this lengthy explanation of why I haven't been here.  Today, when I found one of those elusive shark's teeth, I gave it to our guest as a souvenir.  She was grateful, but asked if I didn't want it.  While I keep a few of the teeth, I usually give them to my kids or if there's some child nearby who has never seen a shark's tooth, I'll give it to them.  And today when I gave away the tooth I had just found, I realized why I liked looking for them.

It is literally the one time during my entire week when I am focused on something and have nothing else occupying my mind.  I mean, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about work or wondering why my five-year old was battling the undertow, but those thoughts (well, I'm kidding about the undertow part) are really on the periphery.  My phone is back up at the chair and there's really nothing to distract me other than my own thoughts.  

Part of the art of searching, I have found, is that I discover more teeth when I stop looking and just see the teeth rather than to look for them.  Sometimes it's the angle of the sun, or sometimes it is a certain color or the position of the tooth that strikes me as odd, but it isn't easy to find them and so going to the beach and finding two or three each trip is pretty rare, unless you are Uncle Michael, who is the world champion shark tooth finder, at least according to his brother in law and his nieces.  I usually don't go away without finding at least one, but more than that is really pushing it.

But the whole state of mind is important.  That is, we all need to find something that gives us pleasure, or at least allows our mind to go into neutral, in order to stay sane.  When I was young, I worried when I wasn't thinking about something. Now, in what I consider to be a more enlightened moment in my life, I realize that it is more important to occasionally disengage from the world, to put all those concerns aside for a few moments, and to clear out the junk that accumulates in our heads from everything we deal with daily. The important part in our lives, really, isn't necessarily what we can fill up our minds with at every moment, but about creating space to let more in.

I have been struggling trying to find a special something to put in my blog, like the Weekly Weasel or the Microcoaching ideas.  I spent a lot of time, a month almost, trying to figure that out.  Then today I realized, it's not what Firehouse Zen is about.  This blog wasn't meant to be work, it was meant to enlighten.  Those who get it will come back and they'll bring their friends.  Those who don't get it, won't.  If you read what I say here and it strikes a chord, great.  And if not, try again later, because maybe it will.  But more importantly, I need to go back to insuring that what this blog is about isn't being the best or the most read or crammed with the most information.  It needs to be about whatever that need is at that moment.  And if you like it, share it and whatever will be, will be.

I promise to stop trying to live up to the daily grind and go back to doing what I do best.  And if people like it, they'll be back.  And that's about the best that anyone could ever want to be.