Half of the battle in leading is knowing ourselves best. If we know ourselves, we can know how we naturally react to certain situations and if our repsonses aren't helping, how to modify our behavior.

What traits do you realize you have that you have had to modify?  How can we best point the people we are mentoring into recognizing their weaknesses and learning to work within those traits to be better leaders?

Giving freely of oneself without any expectation of recieving something in return is at the core of all the world's greatest teachings.  The enlightened leader exhibits a giving and generous spirit, and this attitude is the antithesis of greed, possessiveness, and selfishness.

Look at any great leader, great in the sense of respect, love, and honor, and you can see these traits in their everyday being.  Exhibiting magnamimity, allowing subordinates to grow, trusting them to reach forward, and gently correcting their mistakes provides an atmosphere of learning and encourages people to take chances.

The wise master teaches more through being than doing. Leading often requires us to be still and listen.  Only with an open mind and appreciation for another's point of view, do we learn ourselves.

If you want someone to listen to what you have to say, there is the necessity of "speaking the language".  That might sound intuitive, but when I say that I mean REALLY speaking the language; taking into account body language, pauses, culture, and everything else that is being conveyed.  You can speak all day but if you are talking to those who have already tuned you out, you might as well be talking to a wall.

Once we can understand the perspective of our adversary, we can see the path that they are going to take and meet them there.  If you refuse to see where they are going, any path could be the wrong one, or worse, the fatal one.  

Without direction, water takes whatever form it wants. If undefined, it remains undefined. If channeled or directed, it gains energy. If focused, it creates power.

Leadership is like water. Without direction, a group of people are aimless and disengaged. Given form, they find forward motion. When focused, there is power.

It raises a significant question: What form do you provide to your people to create energy?

Years ago (and when I look back on it, it WAS years ago), when I signed onto what was then a fledgling internet forum on fire service issues, I imagined a place on line similar to some of the think-tank type collaborations I have at times, found myself participating in.  You know, or maybe you don't: beer, talk about deeper issues of the business, stimulating thought, laughter, and long-term friendships.  I have seen some pretty crazy ideas come out of some of those live skull sessions and revolutionize the way we operate emergency services in this nation.

I remember joining with some of the other internet monsters at the time to discuss a certain firefighter training fatality that didn't have to happen.  And while the discussions got hot sometimes, we were forging into uncharted territory.  As a result, I have "met" people on the internet who have inspired me and kept me going on some of my ventures, as I hope I have done the same for. Some of you may even recall those days, in the early days of the International Association of Crusty Old Jakes.  I wasn't a plank holder, but they quickly welcomed me in and I was humbled to be allowed to come join in their side conversations. 

A recent project I am working on has brought me together with some principals in the business and we are spinning an idea we had into something that could be so, so cool.  And we're playing with it.  And the conversation is light, thoughtful, and insightful.  It's really what I want, it is really what I thought this all would really be about. I enjoy having insightful conversation with people who get it.  I know not everyone does, so I am also happy to talk to those people.  But when the party gets crashed by the loud, the obnoxious, the pretenders, and the wannabes, it is then that I move along.  But that's the beauty of this place here, Firehouse Zen, I guess.  We haven't drawn interest from that crowd, so it's comfortable, it's entertaining, and I like the people I'm hanging with.  And a few of the projects I am working on right now seem to be moving in the same direction.

If you want to recharge your batteries, hang out with those who engage you and challenge you, but enjoy being with them. It's enjoying these people that gives you the energy to create.

There are some things going on in our world today that I have come to believe are intolerable.  There are a faction of those in our society who don't understand that their "screw everyone else" mentality is drawing us closer and closer to a breaking point.  The sad part is that I don't believe that they even care.

There are few in this world who really know me.  I mean REALLY know me.  But if there's something I want you to understand, it's that I have no political leanings.  There's no reason for me to follow one party or another. I have no loyalties that encumber me to some faceless entity with a meaningless list of planks that I either ascribe to or I am not invited. And while this is supposed to be a blog about change and leadership, it is for this reason I am even writing this today.

But I resent like hell that when I speak my mind about something, I have people out there who pigeonhole me into whatever little category they wish in order to say their piece.  The truth is, I don't really care what someone has to say except that these days, if you happen to be openminded enough to listen to those who oppose the status quo, you get labeled unpatriotic.  Or liberal.  Or radical. Or socialist. Or traitorous.

So let me tell you a little about myself, for reasons that will become quite clear later.

I am a white male in my late forties who has held a meaningful job for over thirty years.  Throughout most of my life, I have actually held more than one job.  I am a college graduate and have some postgraduate level courses in my transcript.  I am a practicing Catholic and go to Mass at least once a week with very rare exception.  

I have voted Republican in more than one presidential election. I am a member of organizations that people would consider conservative, however, I by no means define myself as conservative or liberal.  I do not support the "distribution of wealth" that is constantly suggested as being the case if you happen to support the current President, and I do not for a moment believe he supports it either, although there are plenty of people out there who love to repeat that.  

When I was graduating high school, I scored well enough on the ASVAB that the Marine Corps came calling.  The VERY HOT blonde female recruiting sargeant told me I could have whatever MOS I wanted.  I rode with her over to Parris Island, right across the Port Royal Sound from where I live, and spent a few days over there getting toured and poured.  I was going to sign on the dotted line when in the course of a week, not one, but TWO of my close friends, who were both in the Corps, told me about how they got screwed on their placement. I chose to take the job I was offered at the fire department instead.  It turned out to be a game-changer.  But I have no hard feelings, in fact, I often wonder how things might have been different.

When the Towers fell, I was in shock.  When I learned 343 of my brothers died, I cried.  When I heard who had done it, I was okay with waterboarding or hooking electrodes up to testicles, or whatever it took to find these pieces of shit, hunt them down, and kill them one by one.  But when our government began to use those powers against other people for their own agendas, including against American citizens who really had nothing to do with terror, I found that I wasn't so willing to allow the games to continue.  But it didn't change my mind that we should hunt these f**kers down and kill them where they stood, even if it was in a friendly nation. 

Likewise, while I think we should be striving for peace and we should be helping our brothers, especially the less fortunate, when someone runs down a firefighter (or anyone else) in the street, or bites an EMT (or anyone else) who is trying to help them, I'm also okay with dragging the individual out the open window of the car and beating the snot out of them, or knocking the jerk's teeth out with a PR-24 so he won't bite anyone else.  Or if someone fires an RPG at one of our troops then hides in a church or a mosque, I say, go get 'em. A saying I have always liked: "Don't f**k with me, and I won't f**k with you.  If you hurt me, I will hurt you.  Bad."  

So as far as I am concerned, anyone who wants to characterize "all" of the supporters of the Occupy Movement as "unwashed", "jobless", left-wing", "nut job", "lowlifes",  can pretty much STFU.  And just because we are willing to listen doesn't mean that we support or reject their ideas either.

I have no idea what the Occupy Wall Street movement wants.  God bless 'em, but I'm not even sure THEY completely know what they want.  I am closely following some of the Occupy feeds, because I find it interesting and I find that I can identify with some of their points.  And I have made friends with some of the leaders, who frankly, have been pretty damn interesting. Conversely, I have also been reading some of the posts by those who don't even try to understand what it is the movement is about and tried to engage them, which has had a pretty predictable outcome.  You can't argue with someone who has already made up their mind.

So I hate to recite the disclaimer line, but it bears mentioning for clarity's sake.  I believe in hard work and honest work. I was raised in a family that didn't have money, so we worked hard to make our money.  When I ultimately married, my wife and I ate (and still do) a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and drove old cars so we could put money away for a nice home and to send our children to college.  And we have invested in America, even though right now, it doesn't seem like America wants to invest much in me or my loved ones.

I don't want the rich to give up their worldly possessions.  I just ask that if I do what I was told would get me ahead in life, that I at least won't have what little I do have taken away.  And I'm not necessarily saying that we need a "level playing field", whatever that is, but I sure as hell don't consider insider trading, influence peddling, and corporate thuggery to even be playing in the same stadium.  And I also sure as hell don't believe that when I support a bail-out (which I did) of our "too-big-to-fail" corporations, that I should see those same individuals being rewarded with cushy bonuses during a time when my brother firefighters and cops haven't had a raise in three years (although we got a 1% increase last year) or worse, are being laid off.  

But don't blow smoke up my ass and tell me it's sunshine, because frankly, the private sector has done a phenomonal job screwing us all between insurance, the banking and mortgage industries, and environmental protection.  I'm a cynic: "Trust, but verify."  (That's an old Reaganism, for some of you who don't realize that). I do not support the belief that socialism in any aspect is better than any other solution.  Working very closely with the state and federal governments, I know first hand that if there were a private partner that could effectively and ethically handle much of the service government provides, it would be better.  However after watching Halliburton's (and others) handling of our War on Terrorism, I am convinced more now than ever that there are those who wage war not to help nations rise and be self-sufficient, but to line their already full pockets.

I believe our federal and state governments have  managed to screw up everything they have gotten their hands on.  However, I have seen the private sector screw things up worse, and with a lot more greed and disloyalty to our nation than any bureaucrat could ever manage.  I'll take my chances, in certain things, with the government, because then at least we have some control over firing someone.  

Our nation has a chosen few who exploit their position of power to enrich themselves to the detriment of many, and have no problems sleeping at night.  They give no thought nor support to people being forced out of their homes, into bankruptcy, or becoming jobless.  But while I try to consider the fact that while I may not agree with what someone has to say, I realize that they are individuals, people with families, people who go to church (or not) or work alongside others in a community (or not), they have the right to be treated with some dignity, even though that treatment doesn't appear to be reciprocal.  But when I see brother public safety "professionals" beating defenseless individuals, or pepper-spraying them as they sit on a sidewalk, some of the offenses by those in power that have been brought to light seem even more despicable and more arrogant as they are actions being taken against those who we are supposed to be protecting.    

I've never let a bully act out against someone who wouldn't or couldn't defend themselves.  The anarchists who hide inside activist movements are simply provacateurs, with no agenda other than to destroy and to incite hate.  Like in the instance with the guy who bit the cop the other day, there ARE some people who should have the crap beat out of them.  But these individuals are just a few among the real activists, those who are pushing for peace and fairness, who unfortunately, get swept up in the tide.  If anything, we should be able to identify with being painted with a broad brush; anyone in public service should be upset when people talk about how terrible government is.  Just as we despise the inference that our jobs as firefighters are the cause for all of our taxpayer woes, those who are peacefully agitating for justice I'm sure are angry that there are those who abuse their right to free speech by acting aggressively.

I am not the first to say it, but the irony that the Occupy movement is embraced by those who have abused their power the worst (certain politicians) and is lionized by people whose ideals most agree with their basic tenets (the Tea Party) is profoundly amusing, but completely indicative of how obtuse some people are.  Our elected officials are so busy pulling to the right or to the left that they have abandoned the rest of us: those of us in the middle. And there are many, many individuals who have aligned themselves either as Democrats or Republicans who follow zombie-like to their message when the real message is this; we will tell you what to think, and you need to shut up and listen.

I'm not sure that the Occupy movement is all of what it was intended to be.  There are a lot of people suffering in this world at the hands of a few.  I don't for a minute believe the distribution of wealth is the answer, although detractors seem to make it as if it is.  No, what I would like is an equal chance to prove that hard work and investment will give my family a nice home, a decent car, and that our kids will go to the college of their choice.  But when you can manipulate markets, create back-room deals, and obtain insider information at the expense of the rest of us, or ask us to bail you out and you instead use the money to give raises to your executives and lay off the working stiffs, then you are not one of us, you are one of them.

While you all are busting your ass tonight on your third fire alarm activation, or taking Granny to the hospital, consider that there are those, those who are laughing at you right now, thinking that they'll be fine because we are too dumb to do anything about it, while advocating cutting our benefits, laying off brothers, closing up fire stations, or defunding necessary equipment and programs.  But hey, let's not raise the spectre of changing things because that wouldn't be "patriotic".

I'm not asking you to support the Occupy movement or to come down on it.  I'm asking you to think and digest what is going on in our world right now and come to a belief not on what you are being told to think, but on what you value and you observe to be the truth.  Then, considering that others can disagree with you and not bully you into their own ideas, agree that what we really do need is insightful, considerate action toward bringing our nation together, and taking care of our neighbors, before we end up in a new civil war.

We have people who are in power who act irresponsibly and say things that are blatantly inflammatory and throw out as a defense of their ignorance that they were divinely inspired to run for office.  And if, God forbid, we speak out, assemble, or otherwise oppose their beliefs, we are "anarchists", "socialists", "un-American" and "unpatriotic".  And if we were to speak out, like our forefathers once did, we should be run off of public property for holding rallies to say the things we see as important.

I'm aware this is a very long post, but I have been chewing on it for quite a while.  The reality is that many are willing to lay down and take a beating from those who don't give a flying f**k about whether you have a job, a home, or your next meal because they are sheep, not leaders.  If you are willing to deny the right to speak and assemble to those who seek justice, then you are sheep, not  leaders.  If you can sit there with a straight face and suggest that "we the people" are being appropriately represented, that we have "leaders" who are serving OUR interests and not the interests of corporations and the elite, and suggest that we have been supporting our most vulnerable populations: the elderly, the young, the disabled, and even more, our veterans, then there is nothing I can say to change your mind.

When did our nation become a gathering of those who tolerated bullies?  Our whole existence has been predicated upon fairness and justice, compassion for the downtrodden, for the underdogs, for the needy, for the victims and the persecuted.  But I guess these days if "you've got yours", then it's okay to say, "screw everyone else."  If that isn't being a bully, I don't know what is.

Don't criticize what you don't understand.  And even then, if you find yourself to be in a position of understanding, realize that it's still just your perception.  A little openmindedness and willingness to see from someone else's point of view would go a long way.

One of the blogs I follow is "The Stupid Way", which is written by an Irish lad who began practicing Buddhism and is currently living and teaching in Japan.  In a discussion on "Buddhism and God", Pete writes:

I’d always found it hard to believe in the idea of a God who had somehow created the universe from outside. So for me the Buddhist idea of God and the universe being the same thing was easier to accept. But Nishijima’s answer didn’t quite satisfy me. If God is the universe and the universe is God, then who made the universe? This, of course, is the big question. I don’t know why I wanted to ask Nishijima about it, because there's no way he could know. But I him asked anyway. He told me the Buddhist idea is that the universe has always existed.

While I am a practicing Catholic, I am open to the idea that there are ideas and practices in other religions that might extend into my own practice of faith.  Even more so, I find also that sometimes the things I learn from other religions or beliefs help me to understand my own experience with God, as well as in leading, following, dealing with conflict, etc. 

This ties into our discussion here in that I was meditating on the concept of culture change and I was struggling with the idea that a radical change in culture in an organization that is considered successful, seems even more frought with difficulty. If the culture is good, and if it exists because the nature of those involved in it is good, why should we consider change?  And why wouldn't you want to change things?  After all, we should be endlessly improving and moving forward, so even if things are good now, shouldn't we agitate for change so that we remain fresh?

If the culture is who we are, and we are the culture, how do we change that? Why do we want to walk away from something comfortable and working to go to the hard, cold unknown, where we can't even begin to know or understand what lies ahead?  

The answer to those in successful cultures is that we change because that IS our culture. 

Part of the reason why it seems like conflict between individuals is continually escalating is because it is.  In order for us to move out of this destructive cycle, we have to understand that society's approach to conflict, to treat it as a battle, is counterproductive.  Especially in politics, the combatants are continually competing for power over one another, rather than to develop broad, bipartisan support to solve shared problems.

Pitched battle is not a desirable tactic.  It exerts energy that could be utilized by just fighting smarter. A siege is the last type of battle anyone should want to engage in. It does not resolve the issues quickly or intelligently either.  It is best to look for opportunities, to engage when the timing is right, and to focus resources on the battle at the appropriate time and in adequate numbers.

In the meanwhile, create peace when you can, make allies when you can,  In the future, your success may be dependent on the forces you can summon not from your own stores, but from the stores of others.  Success does not come quickly or easily. But it will never come unless we start grappling with the hard problems first and use our energy wisely.

Okay, let's talk about sacrifice. My wife, who is already suffering a post-Nepal-trip flu, fell asleep on our couch last night. At zero-dark-thirty this morning, our youngest daughter, Honora, woke up with similar symptoms. She went downstairs, curled up next to Kathleen on the couch and kept her awake for the remaining portion of the morning.  Kathleen did not wake me up, though she had an eight o'clock appointment with a client. By the time I woke up, she had Honora under control, got ready for work, then came downstairs and helped Emma, our oldest, create a faux buckskin tablecloth for her school project on indigenous cultures.  Between all of this, of course, she was also engaging our middle child, Caroline, who didn't want to be left out of the excitement.

The point of sharing this information is not to celebrate my wife's profound dedication to our daughters, although it is amazing and deserving of such praise.  The point is that true leadership requires sacrifice.  Real leaders don't just mail it in when they are tired, or sick, or having a bad day.  They put others first and they continue soldiering on.

Sacrifice is often associated with the Supreme Sacrifice, that of laying your life down for others.  I suggest that to lay down your life for others is different than laying your life down BECAUSE of others, as the former implies you are trading your life for theirs and the latter that you are simply dying with them.  I'm not going to go into the issues I alluded to yesterday, about not wanting to leave your fallen brother.  What I am getting at is that the act of laying your life down FOR another implies a trade, or the meaning of sacrifice in that you do something so that someone else can gain something.

My wife could have sent Honora to wake me up and continue sleeping, which she should have, but she did not.  My wife could have told Emma to suck it up, to figure out her project herself, but she did not.  She could have told Caroline to leave her alone, because she didn't have the time, but she did not.  She took one for the team, she did what she did, and she showed our daughters what it is that mothers do.  They sacrifice.

As an officer, you are called to sacrifice as well.  If you don't, you are just one of the gang.  You have to put on your game face and do what needs to be done, not only because it is your job, but as a leader, you have to lead.  You have to be in front, showing people the way.  You have to provide positive examples for your team.  You have to engage, coach, correct, reinforce, teach, and mentor.  This all requires time.  It requires patience.  It requires understanding your people and what motivates them.

Transformational leadership doesn't come about by simply telling someone what to do and expecting compliance.  It is the difference between catching the fish and teaching someone how to catch fish, as the saying goes.  It is one thing to catch the fish, it is entirely another to take the time to teach someone to do it for themselves.  But this sacrifice of time, if correctly applied, is an investment in the future.

When you think about leadership and stewardship, they are basically the same thing.  They involve "taking care" of something, usually people.  Leading can come about because you simply happen to be the person at the front of the line. But real leadership comes from knowing where to take that line and how to avoid pitfalls along the way.  That requires caring about everyone else and shepherding them to the final destination.  And because it requires you to do MORE than just following, it is in itself, sacrifice.

We can exist or we can take action.  We can take up space on this planet or we can work to make it a better place.  If you are reading this, except for those of you I shame into reading my articles because you are close friends or relatives, you are likely interested in learning more about leadership.  So I don't believe that existence is sufficient for what you have in mind.  Take hold of the standard, put it up high where others can see it, and advance. If you are doing it right, others will follow.  When they see you are willing to sacrifice, they may even offer to carry that flag for you.  And when they can create the same momentum, that, THAT is leadership.

Well, it was inevitable. Now we have the 53 Percenters, a conservative group who I heard featured on CNN this morning as the answer to the "We Are The 99 Percent" protest offered up during the Occupy Wall Street movement.  Philosophically, I guess I should be right in line with these folks.  I work several jobs, I pay my taxes, I think there are a number of people who should live within their means and aren't (which got them in this situation to begin with), and I am a white, God-fearing male in my late forties.  I also believe that there are those who should "suck it up and get to work".  This being the basis of the 53 Percent group, according to an article by Annie Lowrey in Slate:

The 53 percent say everyone should stop moaning, quit pointing fingers at Wall Street, and pay their damn taxes. (The name refers to the fact that only 53 percent of households pay federal income tax these days.) The brainchild of Erick Erickson of RedState.org, the 53 Tumblr features comments like: “I don’t blame Wall Street. Suck it up you whiners. I am the 53 percent subsidizing you so you can hang out on Wall Street and complain.”

But as is always the case, there is more to the story, which the ultra-conservative camp also seems to mention:

The short answer is: deductions and poverty. About half of households within that 47 percent do not end up paying federal income tax because they qualify for enough breaks to cancel their tax obligations out. Of that group, 44 percent are claiming tax benefits for the elderly, like an exemption for Social Security payments. And 30.4 percent are claiming credits for “children and the working poor,” like the child-care tax credit. The remainder get breaks for investment income, spending on education, itemized deductions, and a mish-mash of other things. When combined, it’s all enough to cancel out their income tax requirements.

I hate like hell to post a blog with so many quoted statements, after all, you can read the article yourself.  But Ms. Lowrey has done such a good job of stating the story that it would be ridiculous for me to try to re-frame it.

• We have a select group of individuals who are supposed to be leading our nation, yet are too embedded in status quo, favoritism, and big money to lead responsibly.
• These people are heavily influenced by a number of individuals with the means and the connections to advance their personal agendas, which include enriching themselves at the expense of the rest of us.
• People who would probably make good leaders are dissuaded from doing so because they don't want to subject their lives to intense media scrutiny, negative campaigning, and having to spend more time running for office than managing our government.
• We have an increasing number of poor as a result of a number of factors: joblessness, rising prices, unfair banking practices, living outside their means, etc.
• We continue to sink funds into practices that continue to enrich a chosen few and fail to help the entire nation.
• The situation is not improving.

The issue is not that someone like me desires legislation to "even the playing field".  I LIKE the idea of a meritocracy.  I LIKE capitalism.  I DEPLORE socialism; I resent that someone who would work less than I do would get rewarded for doing so, just based on the rules of that society.  But I am also something I consider more important.  I am realistic, I am skeptical of both sides of this issue, and I consider myself a leader.  

Real leaders don't let the weak get beat up by bullies, even though they have it good themselves.  It would be really easy for me to say, "You know, I meet the criteria for telling the rest of you to suck it up.  So suck it up."  But as a leader, I have to be concerned about those I lead.  And while I have a job, I can put food on my table, I have insurance, and I can afford to send my kids to a private school, I think abandoning the poor, the unemployed, the hungry, and those who really DO want to get back on their feet again is reprehensible.

Yesterday we were doing MAYDAY drills in our department.  One of the hardest things we continue to face in our job, and something we are trying to work through, is lying there on a floor with a fallen brother, whose air is running out, who is trapped and unable to be extricated, and with our air running out, saying, "I'm not going to leave you.  I will stay here and die right next to you, but I'm not leaving you."

We know what the right answer is.  Or do we?