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Get Everyone On Board

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Hilton Head's Engine 1 company using Truck 6 in training.

Hilton Head's Engine 1 company using Truck 6 in training.

There comes a point in every organization where evaluation must be made of the over-arching vision and determination made if that is the direction that is desired, or if not, does it need to be recalibrated.  While that recalibration is really incumbent on the legally controlling entity (city or county council, commissions, or boards), it is the issue of recalibrating the organizational culture that I wanted to discuss today.  Because regardless of your organization, you are going to have personnel who are resistant to change, and while the troops may or may not decide to go willingly, it is a requirement that your officers or supervisors are.  If your small unit leaders aren’t on board, don’t count on the personnel they supervise joining in to resist them.  It will be much easier on those troops if they can get along with their misdirected officer than if they embrace the change, so you can count on the message not getting through when it is most needed.

If you have officers who are unwilling to evolve, they must make a decision (as do you) as to whether their personal contribution (or lack thereof) to the mission is causing a bigger problem. People are going to disagree on issues for a number of different reasons.  They may disagree on how the overall vision is met.  But if both the supervisor and the subordinate can work to capitalize on their personal views and collaborate (or develop by consensus) on solutions that take us to that goal, then that is positive and constructive.  If you simply don’t agree as to the mission, or you can’t work with others to develop solutions, then maybe that’s your signal to start looking elsewhere.

There will also be those who just won’t let the past go.  That total distrust in authority can be chalked up to a lack of maturity.  It’s easy to hold on to fear, it’s hard to make that leap again and trust.  But for some, it’s a game.  It’s cool to be the rebel.  It’s easy to make fun of what you yourself are incapable of creating.  If you are rebelling for a just cause, that commendable.  If you are rebelling to make fun and to be “cool”, you’re a tool.

Vision must be shared to make it effective.  If you ask your team what their vision of team success is, if you get an answer other than what you desire, you have conflicting vision.  Teams all the time make assumptions that their individual visions are one.  That’s all fine on issues where concessions can be made, but if these decisions affect the core values of individuals, you will find irreconcilable differences.  If these issues become counter to your values, this is where the team will break apart or survive.  These are your true watershed moments.

It is important that vision is shared.  Otherwise, the desired result will not be what comes out.  You can have the most charismatic leader in the world out in front, but when you reach that waypoint where visions are divergent, there will be a strong oppositional pull.  Several things can happen: They will go one way or another, or they will split the team, or there will be such a struggle for control that we go nowhere, or the team will go off on a path no one wants, or people will pull together and reach for a common goal.  When those power struggles occur, these are the points where a leadership vacuum occurs.  Like it or not, when it does, something will fill that, sometimes to the detriment of the team’s overall goal.

If you are the legitimate leader and it really is your position to say, “THIS vision is your reality”, then you need to do so.  If others don’t (or won’t) share that vision, they need to get on board or get off.  You can’t deal with incompatible vision.  Conflict management and resolution is imperative.  You must either accept their way, convince them of your way, or accept a compromise- which may make everyone upset.

Each of these waypoints are periods to stop and evaluate our direction and reconfirm that we are doing what is important to us, as well as that this is the direction in which we want to go.  This provides people a place to jump off if they aren’t comfortable with the direction.

While not all of us can be inspiring, we can at least strive to be transformational.  We can know what qualities that entails, we can identify and point people toward those resources, we can listen and empower our people.  We can be open to others’ ideas, permit change when change is needed, and especially when others are strong in talent, encourage their strengths and passions to benefit the whole team.  When you can do this, it permits others to trust you.  When people have been burned so many times, you have to earn that trust and it won’t happen overnight.  You have to keep doing it and keep reinforcing it, even when it is frustrating.

Focus on Success

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SC-TF1 BoO in Chalmette, 2005

SC-TF1 BoO in Chalmette, 2005

If you want success, look hard at what it is you want to be good at and learn how to add value to it.  A positive attitude will help you be successful; While God gives you talent, your mentor can teach you how to use it, but it is up to you to have the positive attitude to propel it forward.  Focus on commitment and excellence by looking at what matters NOW.  As I heard the legendary Coach Lou Holtz say once, “Analyze the past, focus on the future, but do your best now.  Don’t look back.”

I hear from people often enough about how this obstacle is in their path or that obstacle is blocking their success, but when I look at people with real, live, seemingly insurmountable hurdles, I find it personally difficult to imagine that there is anything that can keep me from achieving success if I really desire it.  I can come up with story after story about real people who have been successful despite the walls obstructing their path.  When faced with these odds, think about people who you find inspiring and let the thought of their own success help lighten your load.

When all seems to be unwinnable, however, remember that many challenges you are faced with are simply one battle in a total war.  You may be losing today, but if you can use that loss to rebound and develop an overall winning strategy, you can make it.  If the Spartan forces simply threw up their hands and gave up after losing at Thermopylae, the Greeks might well have been speaking Persian from that point forward (of course, the Spartans delivered a serious ass-kicking in the process, but I digress).  Instead they used that heroic stand as a motivating agent to carry the fight to the Persians and to defeat Xerxes.

How can we appeal to our colleagues that we need to develop a culture of success; a culture of innovation; of professionalism; of overwhelming customer care- not just to the taxpayers but to each other.  If we in emergency services focus on what extra value we can provide to our colleagues, they will also see that this is the way to be.  I’d suggest that as much as possible, to be helpful; we have the choice to challenge ourselves within reason to do whatever it takes to work together, to solve problems, to serve, and to make others feel important.  Do a little extra.

As a leader, it is easy to become frustrated or weary when things don’t go according to plan.  While there are some events that might prove to be especially daunting, remember that no real success ever came easily.  If winning were easy, everyone would be doing it.  Instead, when things aren’t the best, take the time to walk away from things for a little while, take some time to relax, and see if you can gain a different perspective on things.  You might find that by doing so you find a different or more ingenious solution to your needs and come out ahead in the long run.  Persevere, don’t perish.

Capitalize on Your Strengths

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DC Ed is not happy.  I didn't break it and don't ask me to fix it either.

DC Ed is not happy. I didn't break it and don't ask me to fix it either.

I was watching a gentleman installing some cabinets in our laundry room the other day. A few months ago, one of the cabinets fell off the wall; luckily, we saw it was going before it did and got the items out before it literally came down. The man was looking over the remnants of the previous installation (I wasn’t the installer) and made some comments about how to properly put cabinets up. I sheepishly informed him that I had no clue. While I’m pretty confident in the belief that if your community is in a total disaster, I’m probably one of the first people you should call.  If you need a cabinet put up, I’d go elsewhere.  Quickly.

I can put up a raker shore, but it isn’t going to win any awards for precision cuts and edges. If you need to dig someone out of a building, or lead a company into a fire, or command a major incident, I’m your guy.  If you want it done right, you can forget anything involving auto repair, carpentry, or the finer points of heating and air conditioner installation.  Asking me to wire something is probably not wise (or safe) either.

We all have our strengths; each of us are good at some things and may be horrible at others. Instead, there are managers who try to fit the proverbial square peg into a round hole. Most of the people I work with can patch something together (see The Fixers), but the attempt is very much something not up to any standard.   When they are showing off their “handiwork” to me, I usually end up saying, “Well, it will hold until someone can get here to fix it better”.   Usually I end that with a little smile to acknowledge their efforts, knowing that I’m certainly not criticizing: if I had done it, it would probably look worse.

When we put together teams, to develop effective teams requires thought as to what is needed by the organization, but failing to consider the small team dynamics and assume everything is going to go swimmingly, is simply nonsense.  We used to have a chief whose idea of improving small team (i.e.; company) effectiveness was to put one good guy into a team of poor performers. That way we could “spread the wealth”. Ultimately, this would result in my look in return (me rolling my eyes heavenward, knowing what was going to happen) and a muttered, “We’ll see.”

No surprise then, when months later the recently transferred good performers were  looking for jobs elsewhere while the poor performers were laughing about how they “ran off another one”. If you really DO want to get rid of your best people, keep feeding them to the sharks. It’s usually not a matter of IF they bail, but WHEN.

Building a good team requires strong leadership. For those of you who are aspiring officers, this is your opportunity to shine. If your officer has some areas where they would like to improve, this is your chance to offer assistance in what he or she lacks (subtly, I’d suggest). Are they poor at documentation? Offer to help with reports. Are they better at medical than fire training? Offer to help with the former or the latter, whichever would help them. I had officers who wouldn’t know a decent knot if it hit them on top of the head; I was ultimately the go-to person anytime someone needed a good ropes and knots class.  The experience you will get in leading will pay dividends later.

If you are an officer, it is wise to be self-aware of your abilities.  Build on your strengths and surround yourself with those who can help you with your weaknesses. I would suggest informing your crew of how they can help you and ask for suggestions to improve. If done correctly, they will appreciate your candor, they will get a chance to show their particular expertise (and impress you), and put together with each other member of the team, fill an important role.

If you are building a home, you wouldn’t  have the framers do the electric and the roofers do the plumbing, would you? If it doesn’t make sense to do that with something as trivial as putting together a building (said tongue-in-cheek, I hope you realize), why would to take that same chance when building an effective fire and emergency response team?  Be smart and seek the people out to best fill the important roles on your team. You all will be that much happier with the end result.

Taking FHZ to Wayne County, PA

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taskforceone logoAs a quick aside, if any of you are interested, I’ll be in Wayne County, PA on January 30-31, teaching at the Browndale Fire Department.  I don’t know if there are any open spots left, but contact info is on the flier.

Whether you are a seasoned officer, one newly promoted or just are aspiring to become an officer, this program will provided
you with the tools you need to meet that challenge. A company officer’s job is difficult, especially if you have not
been prepared for the transition from firefighter to company officer. This program, through a series of interactive exercises,
role playing and problem solving activities will provide you the tools needed to succeed in the station and on the fire
ground. Through computer simulation exercises and other interactive activities, students will have to opportunity to participate
in several emergencies under the watchful eyes of our instructors. Our faculty will share their “best practices”
showing the way it is really done in today’s challenging and ever changing fire service.

The course will be “Command for Company Officers” and as Ron Richards, of Task Force 1, Inc. describes it:  ”A company officer’s job is difficult, especially if you have not been prepared for the transition from firefighter to company officer. This program will provide you the tools needed to succeed in the station and on the fire ground.”  So if you’ve got the time and you are in the neighborhood, come on by.

Command Presents

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Hilton Head Island Fire Station 7

Hilton Head Island Fire Station 7

It’s that time of the year that we hear the word “presents” often enough to make your ears bleed, so I was wondering if my misuse of the word “presents” got your attention. Apparently it did, or you wouldn’t be reading this now.  Or maybe you didn’t notice.   If you didn’t notice, go and look again: when we speak of “command presence”, we speak of the characteristics of the person in charge to lead from a strong, visible, and decisive point of view, not “presents” like a gift.  Having strong leader-like characteristics  as part of your daily personality could be a “present”, if your job is to be a leader.  It also could be very annoying to the people around you.

According to my family and friends, acquaintances, and the Myers-Briggs (and every other psych profile I’ve ever gone through), I exhibit decisive, directive behavior as part of my normal personality.  More often than I care to, my “command presence” comes out when I’m talking with my wife (she doesn’t like it), my kids (they’re not crazy about it either), or my colleagues (they probably think I’m insufferable anyway).  This just goes to show you there is a time and place for everything.  Explaining to your daughter the intricacies of math, for one, is probably not a good time to be strong, visible and decisive.

Likewise, when you are leading firefighters into emergency situations, it is not a time to be easy-going, reserved, and willing to compromise.  There are those out there who are; they are also the ones with crews free-lancing, poor accountability, mixed commands, and poor coordination.  These are also the ones who get people hurt and killed.

While you don’t have to be the second coming of Field Marshal Rommel, you should understand that the fireground or rescue scene is the place where only one person can be in charge.  Coupled with the observation that leadership abhors a vacuum, you can probably understand that if you fail to establish a clear picture of who is in charge, someone else will.  It’s not the act of having a fist fight to decide who that is; the only person who can be in charge is the legally responsible incident commander.  How that decision is made is pertinent to the laws of your jurisdiction, but if you have someone who can’t command, they probably shouldn’t be in that position.

All too often, I see failure in company officers who are “best buds” with their troops on a daily basis, and then can’t understand why there’s so much chaos on their incident scene.  It is simply because those people don’t necessarily see you as the “alpha dog”.  To them, you are just another “member of the pack”.  Other members of the pack don’t call the shots, the alpha dog does.  And like I said, if you aren’t filling that role, someone else is.  That person will also be the one that when things go south, everyone turns toward for the answers.

In this time of giving, give your subordinates a lesson in leadership.  Your leadership should set a positive example, a role model, if you will, for your aspiring officers.  Command and control is important on the emergency scene and failing to work with that does not instill confidence in the abilities of the IC.  It is essential that not only do your charges see you as a leader on the scene, but in the station as well, for if they do not, on the scene is a bad place for them to convince them of that.  Make it a “present” to the people you are responsible for teaching and watching over.  Give them the tools to lead others, and they will hopefully show you that they trust your leadership, and when the time comes, they will walk on that path as well.

An Atmosphere of Trust

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webMen of Iron BW 2

You want that hole WHERE?

Having worked my normal 24 hour shift, I got up at 0530 and went to the station’s kitchen to make a pot of coffee.  As I stood there, filling the pot with water, I realized that the crew’s dinner kitty was still sitting there on the counter.  Although it wasn’t much, it made me think about the trust that you find (or don’t find) in some firehouses.  It contrasted with a discussion I overheard about one shift raiding the other shift’s fridge just the day before.  Now while most of our stations are “hardened” facilities and require an ID card for entry, I remember when we could leave the place wide open and never have to worry about anything being touched.  In this day and age, not only do we need to worry about some mutt walking in while we were on a call and stealing a laptop (it happened to one of our guys), we have to worry about the criminal elements who want our ID, uniforms, or even a vehicle, so they can pose as a firefighter.

Trust, however, is a pretty interesting concept of its own.  As a leader, you have to earn the trust of the troops.  And as I pointed out, twenty years of being their buddy can go right out the window if you hose them on one thing.  I’ve found that it’s better to be circumspect than to lie to another firefighter.  If you just can’t talk about it, you might as well lead off by saying that, because if you try to act like you are bringing them in on “the scoop” but you can’t tell them the full details, your credibility is shot.

I look at the way my crews trust me in differing degrees.  Do they trust me to command them going into a burning building or to guide them at a building collapse or a confined space incident?  I’d guess most of them do since I’ve never had them second-guess me on a scene.  Do they trust me on most things?  I’d guess they do.  Do they trust that I’ll get the roster right in the morning.  I’d bet much less so (I’m notorious for having to re-send everyone the “amended” roster).  But whatever you do, you had best build credibility in the areas you want them to find you credible in, because if you don’t, your word is crap.

I know company officers (and chief officers) who simply aren’t trusted.  The guys may like them, they may have a beer with them, but get them aside and they’ll tell you, “This officer isn’t trustworthy”.  They may feel like the officer has got their back on daily things but just can’t trust them to make the right decision on the fireground.  And on the fireground, when people have the possibility of being injured or killed, you’d better bet that if you are leading a crew, a section, or the entire incident, you’d better have some credibility.  Because do you know what happens when you don’t have credibility?  No one will listen to you.

When elements of mistrust exist on a regular basis between the troops and the brass, those factors simply add to frustration levels that always exist anyway between these two dynamics.  If you are an officer trying to increase team morale and trying to slow down the rampant rumor mill, you’ll find that deep at the seat of these sentiments lies that mistrust.  Be it that the previous leaders were untrustworthy, or that others have continued to fuel the conspiracy theories for their own amusement, in any case, so long as your people fail to trust you, no amount of money, new trucks, etc. will stop the train.  It requires making that leap to show them that you can be trusted.  In exhibiting your faith in them, hopefully they can begin to have some faith in you.

Maintaining this kind of relationship requires a lot of work.  From first-hand knowledge, it can often be frustrating.  I am a “firefighter’s firefighter” (or at least I hope that’s how my people see me) and I still walk the walk as much as talk the talk.  Yet when I pinned on those chief’s bugles, it didn’t matter that some of these individuals have known me and what I am about for decades: I’m a chief now.  The whole element of trust seemed to have to begin from scratch and work its way back to the same level it was at when I was a Captain, I guess.

The problem is that for as much as you try to show these people that you are only interested in doing the right thing, because of years of mistrusting anyone in a white helmet, they don’t feel comfortable putting their trust in you.  Firefighters pride themselves in being a cynical bunch; show me one firefighter worth his or her salt and I’ll show you that they have a skeptical eye about pretty much any subject that presents itself.  It’s a survival mechanism.  While others pride themselves in seeing a half-full glass, we fully expect that the glass is half-full alright: with an unknown toxic.  Firefighters require everyone and every incident to prove it is safe to trust first, and only then will they dip their toes into the pool.  So an understanding of that culture requires actually living it because the lack of “street cred” automatically targets you as being an outsider and unable to be trusted.

We as leaders must work hard to develop a space of trust.  Of all of the qualities of a leader, trust is most important.  Frankly, no one is going to follow you if they don’t trust that you’re going to take them someplace they want to go.  While you may have all kinds of degrees and certificates, there’s nothing other than setting an example for your troops that is going to teach them that they can follow you and that they can trust that they’ll survive the experience.  If you are trying to change your organizational culture and continually meeting resistance, chances are that your either personnel aren’t mature enough to appreciate that individuals are different and new  leadership isn’t automatically to be distrusted (until you’ve done something to break that trust already), or because no one has ever given them a reason in the past to let go of their fears and follow you.  In both cases, it’s going to require you to stand in front and establish that relationship or understand that you need to develop a thick skin, because the sniping will never end.  Standing up and setting an example seems to be the most productive means of accomplishing the mission.

Science Is Your Friend

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While taking Honora to school a few days ago, Bob Edwards was speaking on NPR Radio with Chris Mooney and Sheril Kirshenbaum, the authors of the book, “Unscientific America”.  While the book apparently discusses “scientific illiteracy”, some of the commentary seemed applicable to what we currently endure in the fire service; clinging to tradition for tradition’s sake and the global ignorance of scientific findings that can improve our efficiency and safety.

The authors, in discussing their premise, suggested that the general populace isn’t stupid when it comes to science, they’re just disengaged.  The idea that they put forth is essentially that science needs to discover a way to get people to re-engage on the issues, which is not as easy as it might seem.  While the scientific community as a whole might not necessarily agree upon the ways to communicate their issues, for scientists and supporters of science to simply dismiss the “emotional side” (my quote) of others when it comes to scientific issues is turning their back on the problem.

In the early to middle parts of the last century, scientists were looked at as heroes.  Science brought us protection against disease; it brought us innovative fabrics and materials.  Science ushered in a nuclear age and took us to the Moon.  Science, however became pedestrian or became background noise.  Although Mooney and Kirshenbaum didn’t suggest it, I suggest that maybe we all began to take these accomplishments for granted.  Consider that every other time I upgrade my computer it becomes a third smaller and four times faster (and I seem to have to upgrade these bad boys about every two or three years).  While the laptop I am typing this on has 500 GB of storage, my first work computer back in 1988 had MAYBE a 120 megabyte hard drive.  Since I wasn’t so computer literate back then, I couldn’t even begin to tell you how much RAM it had.

While these technological miracles happen almost daily, maybe they’ve become a little too commonplace.  And of course, the unintentional wall established between science and the rest of us (maybe I’m a bad example) doesn’t afford any converts.  In fact, the authors discussed that Carl Sagan suffered considerable stigma from the scientific community because of his efforts to put science in a context others could understand.  The result was that he was considered to have “populist” (their quote) views and was somehow, not worthy of inclusion into the supporters of science.

What has happened is that science just isn’t as popular a subject.  Mooney stated that if you read the newspaper, “Science doesn’t beat the horoscope or the sports pages” among most people.  Along with the theory that your political view influences your perspective on science (I’d agree with that), especially in this day of deeply divided emotions about our nation and the people who run it, I’d bet that the thought of discussing some of these scientific endeavors (stem cell research, evolution, etc.) with some of your friends or family probably makes you uncomfortable, regardless of where you stand.  So it’s no question that science in many circles, isn’t exactly a hot topic of conversation.  In fact, unless you are surrounded by a bunch of like-thinkers, you might well avoid scientific discussion altogether.

So just as goes science as a discussion for us all, so goes the fire service for those of us within it.  Go to any firehouse and you’ll see some strong feelings on certain fire service topics.  For any of us to discuss deeply held beliefs about our fire service brings up some pretty raw emotion.  Depending where you sit on many of these issues, sometimes it is better to sit it out and watch the fighting than it is to engage.  Why is that?  Well, I know personally, while I don’t shy away from conflict, I am not interested in engaging in an all-out battle with anyone who just can’t see any side of the issues except the one they are on.  If I choose to remain open-minded and civil, so must you.  That doesn’t seem to prevent people from acting like assholes though (yeah, I said it).

Blogging and posting is a little unique.  The anonymity of being online seems to permit some of the less enlightened individuals to pipe up when they should probably just stick a sock in it and slink back to their corner.  Especially when I’m being lectured by some moron who has two or three years under his (or her) belt and all of a sudden, they are the subject matter expert du jour.  Since the privacy of the internet protects cowards and psychos from getting popped in the mouth if they cross the line, I’d just as soon focus on positive discussion, but it doesn’t seem to stop some of them.

The emergency service industry, as does the scientific community, must remain objective while considering the deeply held beliefs and traditions of those who came before us.  While it seems that logic should overturn any voodoo, the scientific community can’t be dismissive of the emotion attached to these beliefs, because they can be equally as powerful, and no scientist has really been able to explain that.

I’ve said before that I love the traditions of the fire service.  I come from four generations of firefighters and I am proud of that heritage.  But just as my grandfather and my father were renegades and agitating for change and improvement, so do I.  I’m happy to keep a roto-ray on the front of my engine, but I’m not so keen on rushing so quickly to a fire alarm that I flip a rig.  I guess that’s a tradition that seemed to occur a lot in the past that I’d just as soon leave behind.  And yes, there are some who still think that this is acceptable behavior, as do those who think risk/benefit analysis is for sissies.

If we really want change, we have to understand that it scares some people.  Being dismissive of their fears or their preconceived beliefs doesn’t bring them to us in harmony, it creates division.  Understanding how and why things do the things they do is just as important as understanding who we are and where we came from and how we got here.  Since most of you reading this already get “IT”, I’m probably preaching to the choir, but perhaps we can do a better job of reaching out to the dinosaurs and conveying our respect for the way things were done, as well as educating them on safe and effective practices.

Understand that although scientific exploration may bear out an idea and that idea is as right as rain, that same idea will remain locked up in your head somewhere if you’re unable or unwilling to frame the idea into something everyone can understand and eventually, embrace.  If I had the universal answer to all of our problems, I wouldn’t be sitting here asking you open-ended questions.  But it seems that the questions keep getting asked and we aren’t hitting on the answers.

As a brotherhood, we need to band together and discover what others have found before us.  That together we can work toward improving public safety while striving for our own safety as well.  That tradition is important, but it doesn’t supplant common sense.  And that science, in reaching out to find answers to our questions, has achieved a method of achieving logical approaches to many problems, but we have to sometimes choke back emotion and realize that improvement sometimes means walking away from the treasured, but flawed, reasoning of our past.

Why Yell?

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IMG_1146I’m Mick, and I yell.  I think this is the part where you all are supposed to say, “Hi Mick.”  Why do we yell?  I started to say, “I’m a yeller”, but that doesn’t sound right.  And I don’t scream.  Screaming to me indicates panic or total loss of personal control.  But anyone who knows me knows I have a little bit of a fuse and when you light it, I’m liable to say some things I wouldn’t intentionally repeat around the God-fearin’ folk.

This blog is as much about therapy as it is for education and sometimes the questions I ask are actually me asking myself the question (did that make sense?).  Why yell?  Well, I guess the simplest way to say it is that I yell when I am frustrated.  I guess in a bit of self-analysis, I should ask, who gives me the right to yell except me?  Who made me the arbiter of all things?  Does the yelling solve anything? In short, I probably don’t really have a right to yell and the yelling only solves things when the recipient gets the message.

So it sounds like it’s more of a communication problem.  I don’t really yell when I don’t get my own way.  I yell when it is apparent to me that someone isn’t paying attention or I yell back when someone is yelling at me.  When someone isn’t paying attention in most cases, I get angry because I feel like the other person is being selfish and acting in a manner that doesn’t show consideration for others.  It’s funny, because I don’t nearly get as angry about someone wronging me as when I see someone wrong someone else.  And when someone is yelling at me, I guess I’m inclined to yell back because when I screw something up, I take it to heart and simmer over it for a while.  So you don’t have to yell at me, I get it.  And if you don’t get that I get it, I begin to yell too.

Generally, I am an empathetic man, and when I finish yelling, I wonder why I did it in the first place, and more often than not, I feel badly about it.  I don’t CHOOSE to yell.  I guess that’s the powerlessness coming out.  Just as a three-year-old will lash out when no one understands what they want, I guess yelling is a form of emotional immaturity that we need to choke back.  But how else then can we communicate what it is we need when the subject doesn’t seem to be listening?

The problem at the heart of this truly is communication.  If all the laws of effective communications came together like they are supposed to, we wouldn’t have to yell.  We tend to yell when there is a lot of noise, and by noise, I’m not just talking audible noise, but distractions – problems at home, busy schedule, not feeling well, etc. I suppose the key is to either find a way to effectively drill through the problem or to postpone the communication until a more appropriate time.

I’d just as soon never yell again, but unfortunately, I’m in a business where sometimes things go seriously wrong and people die when orders aren’t understood.  If you aren’t paying attention on the fireground, I’d rather yell at you then see you fall through the roof, so please bear with me.  And I have three young children at home, none of whom seem to be inclined to pick anything up when they are done with it, so as much effort as I have put into not yelling at home, it’s inevitable that it will happen again.  I suppose it all really comes down to a matter of perspective.  If I don’t yell at home, the result might be a dirty house.  If I don’t yell at work, someone might die.

But just like commercials and other annoying things, too much completely ruins the effectiveness of it.  If I yelled all the time (other than everyone staying away from me), the intended recipients just see it as another crazy rant.  I know people who like to yell at me (a lot) and while at first it bothered me, now it is just so much background noise.  So if yelling a lot isn’t working, I guess the key observation would be that you should save your yelling for when it is absolutely necessary, else it will have no impact whatsoever on your chosen yellee.

I guess this brings us full circle then.  Is yelling effective?  Why yell?  It almost seems counterintuitive to suggest that yelling will cause people to NOT listen to you, but if you do too much of it, chances are that you are headed right down that path.  So some advice- take a deep breath, put the problem into perspective, and decide if yelling is even worth it.  On occasion, it might be.  But the likely scenario is that by the time you consider all that, the problem individual has moved on already and you may have even cooled off.  So think hard before you use a shotgun to kill a housefly.  Save the yelling for the completely necessary events only.  My audiologist thanks you.

Constant Battle

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2005-427I am never surprised by the willingness of firefighters to fight for what is right.  I have officers that work with me as well as friends throughout emergency services who seem like they are perpetually locked in battle with someone over something, and having been one of those people myself for a number of years, I know how exhausting and frustrating that mode of operation can be.

I was reminded of this recently in two cases; one in which an officer was trying to right a wrong for someone who wasn’t even assigned to him, and to another who was constantly frustrated by others who wouldn’t jump in and take up a perfectly valid cause.  In both cases, these people had every right to be upset- their points were perfectly logical and they were angry because of the injustice that was being perpetuated.  However, my advice to them was to do something that seems like it is counter-intuitive to most of you out there (given the number of angry responses I see to some e-mails, blogs, posts, etc.)  Again, Master Sun, in The Art of War, from Terrain:

Sizing up opponents to determine victory, assessing dangers and distances, is the proper course of action for military leaders.

My advice: First, you never want to engage in a siege mentality with someone who has already made up their mind what they believe.  I don’t care how right you are and how wrong they are, when someone is locked in on an idea, attacking them head-on is just another version of the irresistible force vs. the immovable object.  You are destined for a long, protracted battle with no clear end in sight and in the case of trying to sway opinion, nothing is going to come from this but hurt feelings and a lot of anger.

A quick solution: Find out where they stand and which way the wind is blowing BEFORE engaging them in a heated discussion.  Develop your points and reinforce them with irrefutable logic.  Enlist allies and discuss your strategies for making this change.  And then, when the timing is right, introduce your well-thought-out argument without being emotional or threatening.  Allow the other party to come to their own conclusions and they will often come willingly.

Two quick observations though; when you are developing your case, you may find that maybe YOU were wrong and THEY were right.  Or you may find that you both are wrong or you both are right (it happens more often than you would believe).  In which case, presenting to these other people your findings (and if you are wrong, admitting it), is bound to give the other party the opportunity to save face and will buy you some chips you can cash later. 

Then the other issue- some people, no matter what, can not be swayed by logic.  They are so emotionally tied to a belief that no matter what you present, they are entirely convinced you are wrong and they are right.  You see this often in political and religious discussions in which one or both parties are absolutely unwilling to see another’s point of view.  If you find this to be the case, even Sun Tzu advises, “besieging a walled city is to be the tactic of last resort”.

In the earlier discussion we had on opportunity, we covered some issues of timing. No matter how right your belief, if the timing isn’t right, you won’t be able to convince anyone of its merit.  What it really comes down to is that if you want to be successful, you need to enlist some help, make sure you have ALL of the facts, and make sure you now when to move forward.  No leader in their right mind would attack an opponent without the right number of resources, the right reconnaissance, and the right timing, and neither should you.