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The Antidote To Road Rage

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Being a reader of FHZ requires you to maintain an open mind.  Even if you don't agree with both sides of the issues here, understanding the contrary view permits perspective and in some cases, deeper understanding of the root causes of things we consider trouble.  For an example, consider the recent road rage incident that seems to have piqued a considerable amount of interest.  While I in no way sanction what was done, nor think it was a mature or acceptable way to handle the situation, realize that in many cases, feelings of frustration manifest themselves in angry, retaliatory behavior.

Who among us has not experienced anger at the inconsiderate moron who fails to pull to the right when we are well behind them, permitting us a free lane on the way to some emergency?  Even in your personal automobile, how about the idiot who not only signals they are going to take a right turn, but then shoots across to two lanes of traffic to make a left?  Like he couldn't just make the wrong turn, make a u-turn, and make things right?

Individuals have given themselves the freedom to make poor decisions, then be let off the hook because we shouldn't "judge" them, or because their mommy didn't hug them as a child, or whatever victim story they happen to choose this week.  The reality is that while reacting negatively to those who act in error is not acceptable, neither is the act that sparked the reaction in the first place.  Perhaps if our nation's law enforcement would start hauling off people who run red lights; who make erratic and unanticipated turns without use of a signal; those who drive too slowly in the passing lane, who fly down the shoulder to cut to the head of a merging line, or those who fail to pull to the right when an emergency vehicle is asking for the right of way, perhaps you might see a considerable decrease in road rage.

The base cause of indignity is usually the result of inconsiderate behavior.  Someone flaunts the rules and disregards the normal values of society, and the enraged individual is angry at the injustice of the situation.  I would be willing to bet that if anyone could write a ticket (not that I am an advocate of that), you'd see a lot less road rage.

Why?  Because if there were a non-violent method of resolving the conflict, I would be willing to bet that people would take that option.  The problem is that there is no resolution.  The enraged individual feels as if there is no way the situation will be resolved, they feel the injustice of the situation, and they act out in frustration, sometimes regardless of the consequences.

Now let's take this a step further.  Think of a non-driving situation in which you were pushed to the edge…Was this reaction a result of powerlessness, of frustration evolved from conflict in which you were victimized and felt no method to resolve your issue?  Perhaps it was an automatron manning the phone at your credit card company, or the cashier at Wally World, or the cable guy who doesn't show up when he says he will.  You percieve a lack of power to change the situation and that lack of control becomes overwhelming.  Over time, you may even be willing to act on it, in such a possibility, even inappropriately.

So what is the solution for our version of road rage?  Education?  Humorous attempts to enlighten the inconsiderate sometimes work, as in this fine example from the Tuscaloosa Fire Department. Other attempts like this one from Eugene, Oregon and this one from an agency I can't read on their final slide aren't as memorable (IMHO) but still get the message across.

But the more in-depth solution would be for individuals to maintain less distrations in their vehicles (phones, texting, and radios come to mind), and more overall awareness (simply paying attention to the fact that you SHARE the road with others).  And likewise, the way for you to avoid conflict that cascades into an intractable situation would be to step back for a second and understand the other person's perspective, and recognize that your escalation of the incident, although it may very well be warranted, is pushing you and the other party toward a battle that someone is going to lose. 

Conflict in life is inevitable.  Conflict escalation and intractability is not.  Be one of the first on your block to be the voice of sanity and work to understand, not to react.

An Atmosphere of Trust

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webMen of Iron BW 2

You want that hole WHERE?

Having worked my normal 24 hour shift, I got up at 0530 and went to the station’s kitchen to make a pot of coffee.  As I stood there, filling the pot with water, I realized that the crew’s dinner kitty was still sitting there on the counter.  Although it wasn’t much, it made me think about the trust that you find (or don’t find) in some firehouses.  It contrasted with a discussion I overheard about one shift raiding the other shift’s fridge just the day before.  Now while most of our stations are “hardened” facilities and require an ID card for entry, I remember when we could leave the place wide open and never have to worry about anything being touched.  In this day and age, not only do we need to worry about some mutt walking in while we were on a call and stealing a laptop (it happened to one of our guys), we have to worry about the criminal elements who want our ID, uniforms, or even a vehicle, so they can pose as a firefighter.

Trust, however, is a pretty interesting concept of its own.  As a leader, you have to earn the trust of the troops.  And as I pointed out, twenty years of being their buddy can go right out the window if you hose them on one thing.  I’ve found that it’s better to be circumspect than to lie to another firefighter.  If you just can’t talk about it, you might as well lead off by saying that, because if you try to act like you are bringing them in on “the scoop” but you can’t tell them the full details, your credibility is shot.

I look at the way my crews trust me in differing degrees.  Do they trust me to command them going into a burning building or to guide them at a building collapse or a confined space incident?  I’d guess most of them do since I’ve never had them second-guess me on a scene.  Do they trust me on most things?  I’d guess they do.  Do they trust that I’ll get the roster right in the morning.  I’d bet much less so (I’m notorious for having to re-send everyone the “amended” roster).  But whatever you do, you had best build credibility in the areas you want them to find you credible in, because if you don’t, your word is crap.

I know company officers (and chief officers) who simply aren’t trusted.  The guys may like them, they may have a beer with them, but get them aside and they’ll tell you, “This officer isn’t trustworthy”.  They may feel like the officer has got their back on daily things but just can’t trust them to make the right decision on the fireground.  And on the fireground, when people have the possibility of being injured or killed, you’d better bet that if you are leading a crew, a section, or the entire incident, you’d better have some credibility.  Because do you know what happens when you don’t have credibility?  No one will listen to you.

When elements of mistrust exist on a regular basis between the troops and the brass, those factors simply add to frustration levels that always exist anyway between these two dynamics.  If you are an officer trying to increase team morale and trying to slow down the rampant rumor mill, you’ll find that deep at the seat of these sentiments lies that mistrust.  Be it that the previous leaders were untrustworthy, or that others have continued to fuel the conspiracy theories for their own amusement, in any case, so long as your people fail to trust you, no amount of money, new trucks, etc. will stop the train.  It requires making that leap to show them that you can be trusted.  In exhibiting your faith in them, hopefully they can begin to have some faith in you.

Maintaining this kind of relationship requires a lot of work.  From first-hand knowledge, it can often be frustrating.  I am a “firefighter’s firefighter” (or at least I hope that’s how my people see me) and I still walk the walk as much as talk the talk.  Yet when I pinned on those chief’s bugles, it didn’t matter that some of these individuals have known me and what I am about for decades: I’m a chief now.  The whole element of trust seemed to have to begin from scratch and work its way back to the same level it was at when I was a Captain, I guess.

The problem is that for as much as you try to show these people that you are only interested in doing the right thing, because of years of mistrusting anyone in a white helmet, they don’t feel comfortable putting their trust in you.  Firefighters pride themselves in being a cynical bunch; show me one firefighter worth his or her salt and I’ll show you that they have a skeptical eye about pretty much any subject that presents itself.  It’s a survival mechanism.  While others pride themselves in seeing a half-full glass, we fully expect that the glass is half-full alright: with an unknown toxic.  Firefighters require everyone and every incident to prove it is safe to trust first, and only then will they dip their toes into the pool.  So an understanding of that culture requires actually living it because the lack of “street cred” automatically targets you as being an outsider and unable to be trusted.

We as leaders must work hard to develop a space of trust.  Of all of the qualities of a leader, trust is most important.  Frankly, no one is going to follow you if they don’t trust that you’re going to take them someplace they want to go.  While you may have all kinds of degrees and certificates, there’s nothing other than setting an example for your troops that is going to teach them that they can follow you and that they can trust that they’ll survive the experience.  If you are trying to change your organizational culture and continually meeting resistance, chances are that your either personnel aren’t mature enough to appreciate that individuals are different and new  leadership isn’t automatically to be distrusted (until you’ve done something to break that trust already), or because no one has ever given them a reason in the past to let go of their fears and follow you.  In both cases, it’s going to require you to stand in front and establish that relationship or understand that you need to develop a thick skin, because the sniping will never end.  Standing up and setting an example seems to be the most productive means of accomplishing the mission.

The Importance of Being Earnest

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2005-281For some reason today I was reflecting on two of the worst teachers I had when I was in school (back around the Ice Age) and just why they were such terrible teachers.  I suppose that other than their lousy personalities, it would have had to be their passive-aggressive nature when it came to the enforcement of rules. Since I know a few officers who run their crews with this same kind of behavior (passive-aggressive behavior, that is), I thought it might be a good issue to discuss.

When reflecting on both of these teachers, I realize did not comply with what they considered to be the norm. I am not defending my behavior in any stretch of the imagination- I was certainly wrong, but instead of providing early remediation and corrective feedback, both of these teachers continued to allow the problem to fester until the end of each marking period, in which case they lowered the boom with a failing grade.  It’s not like I was even failing in either of their classes because of my inability to grasp what they were teaching.  In each of these cases, my answers were nearly perfect on each quiz and examination- but it was a case of not following their specific rules, which in each case, trumped those of knowing the subject matter.  It should have been a lesson to me each time; when someone has absolute power and insists on your absolute adherence to the rules, the SMART thing to do is to comply (leaving the situation isn’t an option at that age, but it is in your career).  But like many people at that rebellious stage in our lives, I resisted those efforts twice and was twice rewarded with a round of summer school.

The whole point of that, however, was that had I realized what I was doing wrong was going to cause me circumstances I certainly did not desire, I would have likely changed my course of action.  How many times have you had an employee, at evaluation time, say to you, “I didn’t know you had a problem with that” when giving them a less than satisfactory score on a subject?  Why didn’t they know it?  If the answer is, because I didn’t say anything to them all year, then you are doing them and yourself a big disfavor.

Later in my life, I have seen officers that turn their heads when people do something wrong, then are upset later when things don’t work out between them and the subordinate.  Did you somehow reinforce that their behavior was acceptable by failing to address the problem directly and immediately? You bet.

Especially in this time of intergenerational conflict, as the young officers of tomorrow are learning their trade and those of us who have been around for years are planning for retirement, it is imperative that we establish our expectations and are clear with each other as to the specifics and the timelines in which we consider the job done acceptably, or unacceptably.

Don’t find yourself wishing you had been more candid with your charges when evaluation time comes around.  Take a moment to have a discussion with your people about what your vision is and how you choose to see it implemented.  Avoid all the wailing and gnashing of teeth with a little chat now, and it will pay dividends multifold later.

Telling The Story

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south-beach-villas-6There’s all kinds of supporting documentation regarding the differences in simply sending a message and telling a story.  In doing the research for a paper I mentioned earlier on this blog, I found that some companies like 3M and Nordstrom used the art of telling a story to deliver their vision instead of simply outlining their goals and objectives.  USA Today ran an article on the use of storytelling in the boardroom back in 2004, and there’s a good article on Brandchannel.com breaking down the whole concept of storytelling. 

I probably don’t use storytelling enough, but instead I consciously try to break things down into analogous bites that people can get their heads around a little better.  In either case, getting your message out to your audience, be they firefighters, EMTs or the public, isn’t just the effort of writing down some bullet points and hoping they get the idea, it’s taking the idea and putting it into a context they can relate to, and giving them information they can use and share with others.

There is a reason why we can re-tell a joke we haven’t heard in years and funble sometimes with our phone number.  The joke has context and we can relate to the story somehow, but our phone number, well, is just a number.  But if you have difficulty remembering the number, try breaking it down into a story: the number 278-3324 for example.  For me, the first three digits, 278, are the main drag in my community.  33 is the number on the Rolling Rock bottle and 24 is my father’s first fire department ID number.  By putting these together into a little story in our head, we can remember it.  We can do this with other things as well: The five Great Lakes are “HOMES”; Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior.

Take your mission statement for example.  Unless it’s a short phrase (which it should be anyway), can you remember it verbatim?  Maybe you should convey your message in a short bite and use some storytelling to translate what exactly it is you are trying to demonstrate and the direction you want your organization to move in.

We have an excellent homilist at my church, Deacon Joe.  Instead of getting up there and lecturing, he tells a story, and people can walk out of the Mass and recount that story, maybe not exactly, but they get the overall message.  You can see people leaning forward and focusing intently on what he is saying.  They laugh at the humorous parts and they can be seen nodding in agreement at some of the more salient points.  He does a great job of getting that week’s message across to his audience.

The next time you have an important message you want your intended audience to really understand, do a litle experiment; tell a story and see if people can recount what it is you are trying to get across more readily.  Maybe by doing so, you might be able to get people to understand in a way they never experienced before, or at least since their childhood.

Just Wanna Have Fun

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Did this get your attention?

Did this get your attention?

I started to title this, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, but no matter what I did, that title wasn’t fitting really well.  Soooo, as you may be able to tell from the title, I just wanna talk a little bit about being serious and not being serious.  On any number of occasions, I (and a number of you) have ranted uncommented upon about firefighter safety, incident command, leadership, and any number of issues that are real, tangible concerns for the future of emergency services.  Hey, wake up; I said THE FUTURE.

In the meanwhile, in the opposite corner, and serving its purpose (and I don’t want to take anything away from these posts, because they’re apparently what “the people” want), are forums on “The Word Association Game“, with 2320 comments at last check,  and “Practical Jokes“, with 161 comments.  These are two forums on Firefighter Nation, if you didn’t know.

Now first off, I want to commend these authors, because they have generated traffic like you wouldn’t believe, and they did it without running a picture of a scantily clad woman on the first page (which is also a guarantee for thousands of hits) and I think maybe this is a lesson we all need to look at and appreciate for what it tells us.

When I am going on about a subject near and dear to my heart – let’s take funding issues for an example – I find it relatively interesting, but admittedly it lacks the firepower of say, Firegeezer’s article on helmet types.  Don’t be swayed by the 13 comments (which I would kill for, by the way), this baby is taking hits like nobody’s business.  But people are PASSIONATE about their helmets (as I am, as you might already know) and they are interested in hearing more about what others think about the subject.

This all brings me back to the issue of marketing.  I don’t know what I can do to make firefighter safety and emergency service innovations and leadership “sexy”, but I can probably make it more funny, and hope it gets your attention.  I even hope it gets you to pass it along to others.  I MIGHT even hope it gets you to say, “Hey, that made me think”.  But the goal of most writers is to evoke some reaction (or even better, ACTION) in their audience and it serves the purpose of educating or enlightening others and the author gets feedback, which is important in determining whether they should keep writing, or find something else to do like Sodoku.

How would you feel if you were instructing a class, and you said something you really found important, and the whole class just sat silently and stared back at you (“is this thing on?”)? You’d probably be saying to yourself, “Did they miss that?” or “What part of that didn’t they understand?”  I understand that it’s different here on the blogosphere, but it’s really not that different.  Ask any blogger and they’ll tell you, what they really crave, more than the millions we make writing these things, is feedback.

If we all found ourselves in a situation where we had a message to pass along, but no one was interested in hearing it, we’d find ourselves in the same situation many of us are in as we try to advocate for improvement and for a safer workplace.  Honestly, I already know a lot about what I should be doing to keep myself and my crews safe, but I think it’s incumbent upon me as an emergency service leader to pass this stuff along to anyone who wants to listen.  The catch is, we (and I’m speaking for many of the authors of that deeper, less entertaining stuff) want to know if anyone is listening and there’s only one way we can know this, and that’s through feedback. And in providing this, not only do we know if we are getting it across to you, we ourselves also are learning in the process how to be better communicators and we are learning from you all through your experiences.  Let’s hear what you have to say and let’s try to have fun in the process.

Great Truckie Tip

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Good stuff as usual from the folks over at Vententersearch.com; a truckie tip on carrying your hooks while carrying your ladders. Go check it out!